existential pizza

I was hoping it might rain
and also trying to get some downtime in before it does

often my mezzanine state of mind can be determined
using a mathematical formula based on
the number of pizza boxes that are in sight
and whether they are stacked or unstacked

pushing apart daylight hours
to squeeze in some reflection and reconciliation
and yet these lofty goals fail to appear
maybe some coaxing is needed
put out a platter of wine and cheese in temptation

but the loss of momentum makes me wonder
if I’m unwittingly repeating myself
pour me a tall glass of bitter & twisted
repeating myself pour me a tall glass of bitter & twisted
repeating myself pour me a tall glass of bitter & twisted

my misshapen personal set of rules
this: is merely an inconvenience
this: is a working compromise
this: is unacceptable

the definitions I refuse
the terms of life engagement that I reject
the races I will not run
the odd disciplines I keep for myself
where no one else knows or cares
and why would they?

nothing of much novelty on these quiet days
alone with my shortcomings
appalled by but accepting of
my ignorance of what exists
beyond my narrow straitened view

although I am no more than I am
some days it seems a lot less
nursing my warm cup of eyebrows and bewilderment
clutter and recycling
sweat rash and hope
because for all of the looming blank pages
there are still blank pages

I was hoping it might rain
and also trying to get some downtime in
before it does