coming soon: mind the gap
exhalation
yes: a week of slow exhalation
reaching out purblind for the usual
rails to run along
while the better angels
tango on a pinhead
unfading smiles linger
in the parts of the brain
associated with the future
and the delicate networks
of love gain their strength
the silver thread is a beam of light
a faithful guitar string
a willing tightrope
a steel cable
a chain of atoms
that stretch between
as long as it needs to be
no more no less
and we say to life: yes
anticipation
something silken
has been draped across
the scattered mindscape
for so long I’ve been
fumbling through my hand
looking for appropriate trumps
then laying them down
intermittently
and finding the cards spell out words
and songs
and the thing about waves is
there is always another one
and the tides come in
and the tides go out
and everything changes
but nothing does too
every morning it’s a new world
but some mornings are more new than others
I savour
and prepare
mind the gap #II
distance
as a measurement of time
between then and when
between now and once
because it’s all gone
and what’s not gone
is going
drawn as I was, once more,
to a celluloid dream,
to a hero’s journey,
in which youthful understandings
are still, half remembered, to be found,
resting safely in between familiar frames
and so the stories
were stories
I found bits
of me in
it wasn’t an innocent and uncomplicated time
but it was a time when I
was innocent and uncomplicated
and there were trains and shadows
and longing and libraries and daffodils
and inns and gypsies
and windows and mirrors
and mice and men
and far too much snow
and all on the string-thread lead
of a balalaika surprise
but it’s all gone
and what’s not gone
is going
as it ever was
iglooing
inside you can’t see out
no cracks in the igloo
no spice in this wind
inside the withdrawal
another day of avoiding
implicit dangers and the like
once in a while
to sit outside, beside,
to gain a glimpse of
the shape and colour of the inside,
because there are no fences,
after all,
only the ice wall
that freezes head and heart
that freezes mind and soul
and await the distant thaw
with soft ears
the first time
heaven and hell
have similar playlists
it’s just that in heaven
you wake up every day
and hear everything
for the first time
I did not know
I did not know
I needed a name
it had not been mentioned
in the briefing
of which I have
in any case
no memory
nor was it highlighted
during the subsequent updates
that I have failed to recall
I did not know
I needed a face
but one grew
so I have
escaped punishment
for that
apparently
as no one
has banged on the
early morning door
with demands
and malice
I did not know
I needed a name
it is difficult enough
to explain the world
to ourselves
and others
without having to remember
things we cannot retrieve
from our past
whether we have one
or not
